I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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