hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
