i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
