Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
