I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
