after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
