Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
