I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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