Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
