I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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