so explain again why im purple
no
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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