If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
NoShamevember. You game?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
