I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
