i would punch a child for taco bell
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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