We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
