It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
high people should be assigned attendants
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
