have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
