We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
