I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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