And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
