Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Never underestimate the power of titties
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