I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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