i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
