Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
