I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
