If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
