This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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