Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
