wanna go halves on a baby?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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