haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
