wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
