my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
