Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
