You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
