My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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