he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
