he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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