i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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