I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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