So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
