Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
