JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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