dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
