We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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