Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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