i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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