I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
