I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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