ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
