I looked at my own cervix.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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