why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
