i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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